Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
