Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
