Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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