hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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