u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
