Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
