butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
