I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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