I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
