That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
