is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
