If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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