you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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