i was born a porn star she said
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
