Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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