kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
