The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
