Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
