i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
