We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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