none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
