After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
