she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
not ubering you a puppy
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
