Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
