I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
