I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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