Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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