She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize