Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Alive.
So much puke
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
