I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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