Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
