I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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