i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
