she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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