she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
