It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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