I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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