Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
