He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
