my shit smells like andre
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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