I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
