I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
