His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
