dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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