The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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