My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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