therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
