Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
