You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
