There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
