I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm gonna have a badass scar
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
