I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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