Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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