One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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