I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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