i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
