So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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