Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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