Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
