I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
