I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
