I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
