I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
