i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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