Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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