Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
