eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
