I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
