in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
