He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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