she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
its not stalking. its research.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
