Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My ass is underappreciated
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
