hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
