I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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