I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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