hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
