The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just found puke in my bra..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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