Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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