As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
