i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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