Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize