Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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