with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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