this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize